Easier Said than Done…

Really crappy photo of me sitting up, damn iPhone...

Got a lot of feedback about last week’s blog entry, seems to have caught a few folks off guard, heard comments like “harsh”, “hard-edged”, and my favorite, “it seems like maybe you’re not as upbeat as before…”.

Uh-huh, yea, true to all of the above. And more. Most folks got it however, since the point was to just let it fly as “raw footage” of the documentary that is my life. Hopefully not only will you see what I’m dealing with so as to better connect with me, but it may help you connect with anyone who is dealing with a major health crisis, not just a spinal cord injury. It may even resonate with something you are or have gone through yourself. As my very good friend Kirstin Burke put it:

“Most of us go through life trying to put some kind of whitewash on some part of our life that we can't face, or don't want to deal with - where if we could be honest, who knows what effects it would have…”

It’s one thing to talk about ‘playing the cards you’re dealt’ but it’s quite another to not only do it, but to lay those cards on the table for all to see, especially if it’s a hand full of rags. So I’m going to try to be as honest with you all as possible, and hopefully it will bring us a bit closer and maybe help you in your life as well. As Kirstin said, “Who knows what effects it may have” for you or someone you know, or maybe haven’t even met yet?

Ok enough pontificating; let’s get to the good stuff. I finally sat upright for the first time in 17 weeks. 17 weeks 4 days to be exact. The crappy picture above was taken by one of the therapists, wish it was better quality. This was sooo friggin hard to do I couldn’t believe it. At first you get very dizzy but luckily due to the work we’ve been doing on the tilt table I got past that and then had to figure out how to balance myself with trunk muscles that have been doing jack squat for the last 17 weeks. Took 10 minutes before I could even hold myself up using my hands on the bed without the therapist steadying me! Note the death grip on the bed in the pic. Eventually I got to where I could hold steady (sort of) with no hands.

Lasted about 25 minutes like this, we even did a few exercises, played ‘paddy-cake’, etc. I’ve almost completely regressed to 3 years old. ;-) I thought it was a complete washout because all I have to compare as a reference point is how I was before the accident, but the therapists said it was a smashing success and I did much better than they expected. I’ll go with their assessment for now but it is amazing how far I am from where I was before the accident. We’ll keep building on this though and hopefully gains will come quickly.

Other good news, I met with a lady from the rehab center today and the process of transferring me to rehab has started, the wound is almost closed, it’s down to 1 cm deep and the hole is much smaller so hopefully by this time next week it’s all gone. Going to rehab is full of mixed emotions, while it sucks to be stuck in a bed 24 hours a day for 17 weeks it’s in a very safe and friendly place, every step I take closer to going home is both scary and thrilling. But again we’re on the ‘one day at a time’ program so for now my focus is on the next day or so only.

Also I now have a place to live that’s not a friend’s couch, with lots of cool help from Stacy Nagel doing the footwork I now have a one bedroom apartment in Sunnyvale. I lived in this complex before so I’m pretty familiar with the area, should help smooth the transition back to the real world. My house is in escrow, we’re still waiting on the bank for final approval then that’s done.

Next is line up a car, get to rehab, learn all that crippled person stuff and then get home to my own bed and my life, whatever is left of it.

More info as I get it, y’all take care out there.